Fuck the fuck the cupcakes.
It was IWD this week and that meant the women of the world were super busy running to events and posting it on various forms of social media. I was absolutely one of them.
This year was different for me in many awesome ways. Firstly, I wasn't working directly in the women's sector feeling the very crushing reality of trying to find enough crazy innovative ways to not have to make one of my team redundant- again. Secondly, I went into it wanting to have an amazing day and I certainly did.
I've not gone to the breakfasts for a long time now. Corporate feminism combined with a start time that is incompatible with the lived reality of women's caring responsibilities isn't ordinarily for me.
Instead I went to a fabulous women in sport breakfast in my community (with a later start time- once child care is open!) and then a magnificent and decadent lunch held by Adelady. Adorned in pink with a bestie by my side (who had just given BIRTH might I add!) I danced and celebrated and honestly didn't feel an ounce of guilt about not doing my bit.
Because I do my bit every day.
There have been a lot of posts put up on social media contesting everything from the meaning of the day (is it UN or corporate?) to the cupcakes served at the events and the breakfasts themselves. I don't think that this is a "how feminist are you" pissing competition, but it sometimes looks that way. I think it is a reflection of the sheer frustration that women are feeling right now. Nothing feels like it is enough. Because it isn't.
Women are still doing most of the work at home and in the office. We're getting paid at a rate that is not sustainable with the cost of housing and to top it off women are being beaten at home then having to choose between staying with an abuser or living in a motel for months with their children (if they are lucky).
Over the past year I've become more and more outspoken about the state of the world, politics and how we got here. I'm coming up with more and more innovative ways to try to deliver services to the community sector basically for free so that they can keep pace with the technological services required for cyber security introduced by the boys in the tech sector.
I'm just done.
I'm tired and exhausted and I just want a day off but that doesn't happen when women are being killed by their abusive partners.
So this year I chose subversive joy. I'm done with always worrying without a break and not getting paid appropriately for my skills. I'm done with having to use my mind to be more and more innovative while nothing changes.
So I had a cupcake. It tasted good.
I wore pink. I like pink. It makes me feel happy.
And then I got back on it and came home and critiqued the misogyny that created and sustains this situation. Because it is the only thing that will fix it.
It doesn't matter how innovative I try to be or how low cost I can deliver my services to the women's sector and the community sector.
Because until we have equality for women our work won't be done.
So I had a cupcake. Because I needed it. It tasted good.
You know what would be great? Even better than a cupcake. Some funding.
For the entire sector.
